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  “Uh, yeah. I’m ready,” he replied, a little confused and taken aback by her mood. Nick had never seen Jenna like this.

  She nodded, and they both walked out to the driveway in silence. Once they were in her car, they remained quiet. Nick saw as she gripped the wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white. The farther they got away from her house, the more she seemed to eventually ease. Her hold on the wheel loosened and she stopped grinding her teeth.

  When they were within a few blocks of his apartment complex, Jenna finally spoke in a less caustic manner. “Sorry, Nicky.”

  “Um, it’s okay. Are you... all right?”

  “Yeah,” she sighed, flicking on the turn signal and parallel parking in front of his building. “I just needed to get out of there.”

  Nick instantly knew that something had happened between her and Ryan. He wanted to say something, but he knew better than to broach that subject. Jenna would only get upset again, and bad things happened when their emotions were charged and running rampant. Instead, he nodded and let the subject slide, and Jenna was silently grateful for that. “So, thanks for bringing me back,” he said, opening the door and reaching for his bag.

  “Are you going to be okay? Do you need anything?” she questioned, not even putting a second thought into it as she got out of the car with him. After all, she had clear proof that the boy just could not cook, and he probably shouldn’t be trusted with operating any kitchen appliances whether he was still recovering or not. He’d probably burn the entire building down, and the last thing Chicago needed was another devastating fire.

  “I’ve worn out my welcome,” Nick replied tentatively. He didn’t want to turn her down, but he knew that he probably should. “If I need anything, I’m sure I can call one of the guys or something.”

  “I’m already here.” And with that one last comment, Nick didn’t argue. Again, Jenna was grateful to him. She didn’t want to turn around and drive back to her house just yet. It seemed as though Nick knew her quite well. They took the stairs up to the second floor, where Nick’s apartment was. He felt a little shy at the idea of having her over. Nick didn’t often have girls over, and although his place wasn’t a mess, it just wasn’t a place where he invited people. It wasn’t homey.

  They silently went about their own business, which was weird since Jenna really had no business being there. Nick tossed his clothes into his pile of dirty laundry while Jenna checked his fridge. He hadn’t been home in about a week, so she figured most—if not all—of his food had gone bad. There were a couple of take-out containers that she tossed into the garbage, and the milk had definitely soured. They were going to have to go grocery shopping, and Jenna told him so. “You need food. Do you need me to take you shopping?”

  “Nah. There’s a store within walking distance,” he replied, stepping into the small kitchen with her. In his head, he knew he wouldn’t go shopping anyway; he’d just order something from the myriad of local restaurants. It’s what he usually did.

  “But I mean, are you okay to do that? Just because you can stay on your own doesn’t mean you can handle everything just yet,” she explained quietly. Jenna didn’t like saying it that way, because it made Nick sound like an invalid. But then again, she didn’t want to be responsible for something that could have been avoided if she could help. She peered up at him, tilting her face to the side and making eye contact with him for the first time since Sunday.

  “I’m fine,” he said, looking down at her. The world seemed to stop as they locked eyes. Nick knew he should take a step back. Jenna knew she should leave now and head home. Neither of them made a move to put some distance between them, however. On the contrary, they moved a little closer together. Their bodies, like magnets, were drawn to each other and unable to stay apart.

  Chapter 15

  The connection that Jenna had so tirelessly and desperately tried to repress was instantly rekindled when she made eye contact with Nick. She drowned out that voice inside her head that told her this was a bad idea and went with her gut. She closed her eyes and leaned toward him, hanging in the balance as she waited for him to cross the distance between them and kiss her. They’d already done it once before, so what was once more? Jenna had already ventured into that territory and had become a cheater, so doing it again couldn’t be that much more worse. Right?

  Nick’s heart palpitated as he quickly assessed the situation at his feet. This was another opportunity for him to share an intimate moment with the girl that had unknowingly conquered his mind and heart. He wanted to, so badly. But he wasn’t sure if he could. If they made love again and Jenna pushed him away afterward, it would be more than he could bear. Nick didn’t know what she was thinking or why she had seemed to suddenly change her mind. Maybe she was mad at Ryan, and this was how she was going to get back at him? But that look in her eyes when they connected with his.... That wasn’t revenge. Ryan, at this moment, was entirely irrelevant.

  This was another risk that Nick had to weigh in his mind to see if it was worth taking. The first time, on Sunday, he was risking rejection. Retribution. Exposure. Shame. This time, however, he was risking losing his heart completely. If he committed to this, he couldn’t turn back again. One time could be a mistake, but twice.... That was on purpose.

  When she tilted her head upward, poised perfectly to be kissed, Nick could no longer resist. Not when she was waiting for him to make the move. And she certainly was. He placed his hands gingerly on her upper arms, right below her shoulders, and he leaned down toward her. His lips hovered for a moment right over hers, and Jenna could feel his breath on her face. The anticipation was killing her, but she was a little too timid to move the few extra millimeters in order to press their mouths together. Nick thought about saying something first and asking her if she was okay with this, but he was almost afraid that words would bring her out of this dream state and Jenna would wake up and back off.

  So he leaned down and captured her mouth with his in a kiss that made her lips not only tingle but practically go numb. Jenna’s hands moved into his hair as she turned her head to the right and opened her mouth enough to let his tongue slide in; his hands likewise slid down to the small of her back and pulled her against him. She was breathless by the time Nick pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.

  She took a few deep breaths before she opened her eyes again and looked at him. Nick’s eyes were so dark that she couldn’t distinguish pupil from iris. Jenna was still panting when she pushed her chin forward, making her nose rub against his as she kissed him again and silently demanded more than just kisses.

  Together, they began their stumbling, dizzy tango into the bedroom as he walked her out of the kitchen. Jenna was trying to match his long, slow strides as she moved backward, but she tripped several times. Nick’s grip on her tightened, however, and he never let her fall away from him. He held onto her like he would never be able to let her go at all; in fact, he needed her closer. His hands reached under her sweater and touched her bare skin, dragging his hands up slowly until they were at the clasp of her bra. He unhooked it and moved his hands to her front, cupping and massaging her breasts under her clothes.

  Jenna moaned as his tongue swirled around hers, instantly wanting him so urgently. She whipped her sweater over her head and slid the straps of her bra over her shoulders so Nick would have more room to move his hands around; she loved the feel of his big, strong, calloused hands on her sensitive skin. He gave her goose bumps and made her shiver as he pinched her hardening nipples, glad to become familiar and reacquainted with her curves. All her curves, as his hands slid down her stomach, across her sides, to rest on her ass. She fingered the hem of his shirt and lifted it. Nick had to raise his arms so she could remove his shirt, and she felt naked without his hands on her body. But he quickly put them right back on her, where they belonged.

  Nick worked on her jeans while she pushed his sweats to the floor. They stepped out of their pants and collapsed on the bed, after finally
making it into his bedroom. He assumed control again, just like he had the last time, and moved on top of her. He was ready to spend his time lavishing attention on her and making her want him, need him, but Jenna had other ideas. She wrapped her hand around his girth and guided him toward her opening, already hot and wet and more than accommodating. Right before he entered her, Jenna opened her eyes and made eye contact with Nick once more, which intensified the moment as he gently and slowly pushed his way inside her. He had to close his eyes and break the connection, remaining as still as possible. In the past thirty-seven hours, he didn’t think sex, with anyone ever again, would live up to his memories. But he was wrong. Jenna felt just as good as, if not better than, the way he remembered.

  After a few seconds of not moving, he began to rock his pelvis against hers as their lips crashed together. It felt as if he were touching and stimulating her everywhere all at once as his muscular body moved over hers. Jenna planted her feet firmly on the bed, and her hips writhed in time with his. Sweat began to bead on their bodies as they rhythmically moved together. They went from panting to moaning before Jenna became a little more vocal, screaming out over and over. She arched her back as her muscles began to tense throughout her entire body, tightening and tightening until they couldn’t anymore—and that’s when she quivered and shook and yelled out one last time.

  Ryan was confused as hell. Jenna had left him high and dry—and hard and unsatisfied. Why would she initiate sex if she didn’t want to actually have sex at that moment? Why didn’t she just say, “Ryan, take Nicky home now so when you come back, we can have sex”? He was... mystified, to say the least.

  And there wasn’t anyone for him to call and talk to about this, either. Alex apparently couldn’t keep his mouth shut about guy talk. Although, to be honest, he didn’t really want to tell Alex about what happened anyway. Ryan was not going to tell Alex that he was in the midst of a hand job when Jenna flew off her rocker for some bizarre reason and stormed out of their bedroom.

  It couldn’t have just been about taking Nick home. It’s not like Jenna was afraid to have sex with him while Nick was in the other room, because... well, been there, done that. And Jenna and Nick were friends, so it’s not like she could be sick of him or something. It was her idea, after all, that Nick should stay with them while he recovered from his concussion. Ryan supposed that it was nice for Jenna to have someone to turn to when she needed it, since she had left all her friends behind in New Hampshire.

  He just wanted to know what was bothering her! They’d literally just made up before he had to leave for the road game, and then it seemed as soon he came back, they were fighting again! And this time, he had no idea what he had done wrong. He didn’t even think that he had done anything wrong. He was positive he hadn’t done anything. Maybe it was PMS or something. And to make it worse, he told her he would take Nick home! But she was in the middle of a bitch fit, and nothing he would have said or done at that point would have made the situation better.

  That was not his usual Jenna. His fiancée was not the type of girl who randomly flew off the handle like that. She was calm yet emotional, but never... insane. Jenna was a rational person who told Ryan when he stepped out of bounds, and Ryan, well, he usually listened to her. Even when she was frustrated with him, it was never anything that couldn’t be solved with a hug and a plea for forgiveness.

  Maybe Ryan just didn’t understand women in general. He thought he knew Jenna, but if he did, then why couldn’t he figure out what bothering her and making her act so crazy? Ryan should have been able to tell instantly, somehow, whether by the look on her face or the tone of her voice. Something should have given her away. Eight years.... They’d been together for eight years, so he should know her that well by now to be able to discern immediately what was going on in her head. That’s a long span of time. Almost a decade. They’d been through so much: school, the long-distance thing, and then playing house for years in Chicago. They were going to get married. Ryan was sure that husbands were clueless a lot of the time; that’s where the flower industry and jewelry business came in and made their profits.

  He thought about calling his mother. She seemed to have all the answers, all the time. If he talked to her, he was sure that he would walk away smarter for it and with a better idea of what was going on with Jenna. But he was worried to talk to her and admit what was going on to his mom. Talk about how he and Jenna had been fighting. His mother loved Jenna like the daughter she never had, and she swore up and down, left and right, that Jenna was good for him. That was why she had put so much pressure on them to get married. If he went to his mother and confessed how he had screwed up... well, Ryan was enough of a man to admit that he was afraid of his mother. Plus, it wasn’t like they weren’t going to work this out. Of course they would.

  There had to be something he could do. He pushed himself out of bed, despite seriously considering taking Jenna’s advice and jacking off, and put some clothes on before meandering around the house. Ryan picked up his overnight bag and sorted through its contents, throwing his dirty clothes in the hamper and putting the clean things away in their proper places. He went into the kitchen and did the dishes left over from last night’s dinner, whatever Jenna had prepared. From the red tint of the water plugged up in the sink, it was spaghetti Bolognese. He plunged his hands into the disgusting water and scrubbed the plates and silverware.

  Once he had done the chores that he could obviously see needed to be done, Ryan headed back into the living room, and sat there to wait until Jenna returned. He told her on Sunday that he didn’t want to fight, and that when something was up, that she should just come to him and talk about it instead of bottling it up and hiding it from him. He couldn’t do anything to fix the problem if Jenna didn’t make it clear what needed to be fixed. And he was willing to do anything it took to think of a solution. Except call his mother.

  There was one person who might be able to help him: Nick. Ryan knew they were good friends, and if anyone could tell him what was going through Jenna’s mind, it would be Nick. He was slightly annoyed that those two were probably talking about what he had done to fuck up, again, when Ryan had gotten in trouble for talking to Alex about it, but he was going to be the bigger person and forgive Jenna for that. Besides, stuff like this wouldn’t matter anymore once they were married and truly in it for life. Ryan already was, but a simple band around his finger would symbolize that forever.

  Ryan found Nick’s number in his contacts and called him, thinking that Jenna had dropped him off by now and was on her way back to the house already. His friend and teammate didn’t answer, so Ryan shrugged to himself and waited on the couch for Jenna, unintentionally falling back asleep from exhaustion while he waited.

  “So, um...” Nick said, trying to ask the question flitting through his mind. He wanted to know what this meant. Why they had slept together again. If he had just made the mistake of putting his heart on the line, and if she would tell him once again that it was a one-time thing. Again.

  “Shh. Don’t say anything. Don’t ruin it,” she whispered. This time, when they had separated themselves after their respective climaxes, Nick had lain on his back like he had before. However, Jenna rolled onto her side and curled up beside him, resting her head on his left shoulder. They still weren’t making any eye contact, but they were touching. It was a step farther in the direction that they shouldn’t have been heading in, seeing as though Jenna still had that obnoxiously pink diamond ring on her left hand.

  He put his left hand in her hair, twirling it between his fingers. Looking up at the ceiling, he tried to muster up the courage to say what he wanted to say. Jenna wasn’t a pushy person; she never forced him to comply with her wishes. But when she asked him to forget or not to say anything, he always obeyed, out of respect for what she wanted. Not this time, though. He couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t actively put himself out there to get hurt without knowing what was going on inside her mind. Nick desperately needed to
know if she was doing this for fun or for an escape from Ryan, or if she was hoping for more than a romp between the sheets behind her fiancé’s back.

  “Jenna,” he started, swiftly rolling onto his side, therefore pushing her onto her back. Now that he was hovering over her, he felt like he had gained a bit more control back. They locked eyes, and it took Jenna’s breath away. “I need to know what you think this is. If you—”

  “Nicky—”

  “No, please, let me finish,” he cut her off as she tried to interrupt him. He took a deep breath and swallowed, even though his throat was dry. Nick wondered if he could explain his feelings. As he spoke, he found he couldn’t say those three special words yet. “I like you, Jenna. And I have for a while now. I need to know if you feel the same way about me. If that’s what this,” he continued, gesturing between their naked, sweaty bodies, “is about. If it is, then I need you to know that I’ll do what it takes to be with you. Whatever the repercussions may be. But if you’re just going to tell me it’s another mistake, well, you’d better tell me that now.”

  Nick was proud of himself for getting that off his chest, even if his little speech was only the tip of the iceberg. It was a big deal to him to open up and tell her how he felt because he had sworn to himself at the beginning of the season that he would never expose his true emotions. Originally, he had never planned on risking his position with the Blackhawks, or his relationship with Ryan—both as his friend and sometimes linemate, or his reputation as both a good teammate and a good person.